Feeling Discouraged…

Dad has his 2nd round of chemotherapy on Thursday, November 15, 2018.

He has lost just about all of his hair, but will not shave the rest off even though it would look better. I am beginning to feel that he is losing the hope that he started with.

He cannot get up the stairs without it literally taking his breath away. He has a hard time even getting around the house due to his severe fear of falling because he feels so unsteady on his feet. This was discussed with his oncologist on Thursday, and she scheduled an x-ray to see if the tumor is growing, and she also ordered a MRI on his brain and spine to determine if the cancer has metastasized to other locations.

We left his chemotherapy treatment, and took him for the x-ray so that he would not have to go back out tomorrow. On the way home, I asked him what he ate (I tried to get him to eat before we left this morning, but he insisted that he would be fine as they have food/snacks at the treatment center) and he told me that he did not eat anything. I told him he has to eat, and he said that he would love a junior whopper, french fries and a coke from Burger King. It seemed like an odd request for a man who hardly ever eats fast food, but who am I to argue? If that’s what he wants, that’s what he will get.

He ate the entire meal down to the last french fry.

I am pretty sure that he heard the doctor today when she discussed his weight loss with him, and the concern on her face was very apparent. Dad has lost 10 pounds since he arrived here from Florida on October 8, 2018.

Dad complained to me this evening about his phone acting up. He said that every time he touches a letter to text, it comes out a different letter. I had him restart the phone, but he said that it didn’t help. He asked me to try, so I did and his phone is working just fine. I believe that his coordination is failing, and I am praying for the best when we get his MRI done.

November 16, 2018

I guess you cannot judge a book by it’s cover. All day I was thinking how Dad seems to be doing a little better after his 2nd chemo treatment vs. how he felt when get home from the 1st. He napped on and off, but he did not sleep the entire day like the 1st round, he ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He watched TV while Brooke, my sister and myself played Yahtzee (Brooke won of course!).

Later in the evening, I was doing some work on the computer in my office and he came back and sat down. He said he had a headache. This is the first he has complained of a headache. I gave him 2 Tylenol, and he said that he felt worse this time than he did after the 1st chemo treatment. I found this odd because all day I had been thinking the complete opposite.

I am afraid that Dad is hiding how he is really feeling from us. He has always been this way, not wanting us to worry about him, but this time it is life or death. I feel like we really need to get through to him that he has to share how he is feeling, and if he is not comfortable sharing it with us, he absolutely must share it with his doctor.

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