Today is the last day of Dad’s 2nd week since chemotherapy. It takes me back to the meeting with his oncologist when we reviewed his biopsy results and discussed chemotherapy. I asked the doctor during that meeting “will chemotherapy make him feel better than he does right now”. Her answer was “yes”. Keep in mind, this is the meeting where Dad received a prescription for morphine. Up to that point, he had been in severe pain since being discharged from the hospital the week before.
My point is this, I believe that the pain pills and his new prescription for nerve pain are keeping Dad’s pain at bay, but as far as how he feels, he does not feel better. In fact, it is safe to say that he feels worse. Prior to chemo, he was going outside, and even drove his car to the post office and to the car wash. Since his chemotherapy treatment, he has not been out of the house other than to attend doctor appointments (and I drive him). He has 7 days left until his 2nd chemotherapy treatment, and I just don’t want him sleeping and feeling sick for 10 days every 3 weeks if it is not going to make him feel good enough to at least get out of the house.
We knew that Dad’s lung cancer is not curable, and that the only reason to go through with chemotherapy would be to make him feel better, and potentially add a few months to his life. While adding months to his life sounds good, I don’t see where the “make him feel better part” has come through for us.
Dad got up and came downstairs to have a cup of coffee and read the newspaper. I asked him how he was feeling today, and he said he slept pretty good, although he did get up in the middle of the night to take a pain pill.
He wanted to make his car payment, so he was going upstairs to get his checkbook. He was at the bottom of the stairs and looked up, as if he did not want to go up. I asked him if he wanted me to get his checkbook for him, and he said that he was just thinking how he does not feel as unsteady on his feet as he has been. I am not sure what to take out of that. It is good news, but I am not sure what was causing him to feel unsteady to begin with. Was it the chemo treatment, was it adjusting to his pain medication, or is he just having a good day today? Either way, we will take the good days as they come and appreciate every moment.
He ate a bowl of cereal, took his nerve pain pill (today starts the 3rd day, so he will now take them 3x per day instead of two). He went in to sit in the recliner. It is 10:50am.
Dad and I ate a sandwich for lunch. He wanted Texas Sheet Cake. I said “Dad, you have got to eat something other than Texas Sheet Cake’. He agreed and had peanut butter and jelly.
Dad got a shower, so I decided to go ahead and run the sweeper while he was awake. After he came out of the bathroom, he came to the doorway of my room, and I shut the sweeper off. He said that for the last few days, he has had a couple sore spots on the back of his head. He then put his hand back there, pulled it away and showed me the hair that he was holding in his hand. The hair loss begins. I told him that we would get him a Pittsburgh Steelers beanie hat and he said “that’s right, that’s what we’ll do”.